Billy Green’s blog

Just now I saw a fly sitting on a fly swatter. That guy is cocky. But he’s also very smart because that is the safest possible place for a fly to be. I got nothing to hit him with.

I wish I subscribed to a newspaper.

It’s my 23rd birthday today. Yup, I’m 23, unemployed and living with my mom. I also don’t have a girlfriend, which is for the best because I couldn’t afford one.

But all this free time is good because it’s given me a chance to catch up on watching TV. There’s this show I really like on AMC called Mad Men. It started airing this summer. It’s about an advertising agency in 1960 New York and showcases the kind of attitudes of the era, the racism and sexism and stuff like that. It really makes me feel nostalgic for that time period. It’s also the slowest moving show in the history of television. I’ve watched all nine episodes they’ve made so far and I still can’t say that anything has actually happened. If someone was to ask me if he should watch Mad Men, I would say yes. If they asked me what happens in the show the only thing I could say is, “Not much. They mostly sit around the office and talk about how they don’t like Jews.”

I have also been watching every episode of Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist. I didn’t buy the DVD, because the only DVDs of Dr. Katz you can buy are the entire series together and that costs over a hundred dollars. Not that I buy DVDs anyway, I usually download shows. The thing with the Dr. Katz downloads is that they are not ripped from the DVDs or taken from a Tivo, they’re ripped from VHS tapes from the late 90s. Comedy Central hasn’t aired Dr. Katz in years because that would get in the way of them showing Mad TV for 26 hours a day.

Dr. Katz was produced by the same company that later made Home Movies for Cartoon Network. I like this company because I think it’s great that a bunch of people decided to get into animation by making cartoons where no one moves. I downloaded several Home Movies episodes a couple of years ago, but it was very hard to do because when you type “Home Movies” into a file sharing program, the results are mostly people’s home movies. They make them available on file sharing programs for some reason.

I have an excellent system for when I go to casinos. I take my money and bet at several different tables. Then I lose my money and go home angry.

It’s a reliable system too. It’s never failed me and allowed me win any money.

I don’t want to alarm anyone out there, but I’m unemployed. I graduated college just this spring but haven’t been able to find a real job yet. I tell, so far this hasn’t been too bad a deal. I’m living back home and it’s after Labor Day and summer is over for everyone but me. Normally this time of year, I’d be back at school, but I don’t have a school to go back to. So I haven’t stopped sleeping in late or watching daytime TV. It’s been a pretty sweet life so far.

I have been looking for a job though. The main problem I am finding with that is that I live in Michigan, where unemployment is so bad that no one here in the entire state has a job. I have been looking at moving to Chicago where there are jobs. At least I see a bunch of people dressed in suits walking around downtown Chicago during the day, so I assume they do something for a living.

I also noticed that if you are walking around in Chicago wearing a suit, a heck of a lot of homeless people will ask you for money. I also noticed that none of these homeless people were white, they were all black or Hispanic. A lot of people would find a piece of information like that very telling about our society. I do too. It means that if I move to Chicago, there is statistically no chance that I will wind up homeless. It’s comforting to know.

I like visiting Chicago because I can stay in cheap motel rooms run by south Asians and watch HBO. I don’t have HBO at home so I go to places that advertise free HBO. A lot of places like motels and coffee shops advertise that they have free wi-fi but I don’t like brining my computer into coffee shops that have free wi-fi that often because I only have a desktop computer and it’s always so much trouble to carry all the equipment over there and then hook up all the cords. I don’t even have a flat screen monitor; I’m still using a CRT.

I hope you all finished reading my first post. Here’s my second.

Prussia became Germany in 1871 because they were tired of always getting Russia’s mail by mistake. They didn’t even receive anything valuable like Russian state secrets or bank account numbers either. They just got a bunch of Russia’s past due notices for bills. Russia is always behind on paying its bills.

Vatican City is the smallest state on Earth. They also have the world’s smallest airport, which only has one plane–the pope’s personal aircraft, Pope Force One.

Niger is awfully close in spelling to the word nigger. It’s also an African country. Those two facts together are kind of funny to know for a minute or two when you are 13.

Thailand used to be called Siam, due to the large amount of Siamese twins the country had when it first made contact with Europeans. They later changed their name to Thailand, after a combination of the native terms “thai” (tranny) and “land” (land).

Alex Trebeck is Canadian. Did you know that? That is seriously the most interesting fact anyone has been able to come up with about Canada.

The Jews control all world governments, the banks and media. So of course when they used this power to get their own country, they picked a very small one in the middle of the desert surrounded by other large countries who want to destroy them.

This is the first post of my new blog, which is much like my old blog except this one is on the internet and not deleted.