Entries Tagged 'Just a Thought' ↓

Remember Play-Doh smell? Cause I sure do.

I hate every Nightmare on Elm Street movie that is not the first one. I don’t know how dumb people in the 80’s were, but if they found any of the sequels scary they must have been very. The first sequel wasn’t even trying; it climaxed with Freddy crashing a pool party and throwing plastic lawn chairs. He wasn’t a threat, all one of the teenagers who looked like 26 year olds had to do was kicked Freddy in the balls and her would have been defeated. The second sequel featured Freddy in terrifying 1987 claymation. Wow, I was literally scared bored. Fuck you, Nightmare on Elm Street, none of you movies are any good.

I have a gray t-shirt that says COLLEGE in black letters. It doesn’t say which college I went to, but I tell people it’s the shirt you get when you graduate from college. I find it ironic–ironic like a college kid would! Howza!

I had a dream last night where I was in the woods and attacked by a bobcat. I was able to fight it off by hitting it with a lawn chair and then I sought the help of a crusted old woodsman to heal my wounds.

—–

Do you think animals understand that we are more advanced than them? Dogs clearly do, they admire our ability to produce delicious foods and own comfortable couches. Cats, I think, know it but they choose to pretend otherwise. “So you can open doors? Big deal. I don’t need to. I just make you open them for me.”

I wish trench coats were back in style. They look nice. The problem is we have far less 1930’s style private detectives around than we used to, so that dried up a lot of the demand for trench coats. Nowadays, if you see someone walking around in a trench coat, you just assume they’re naked under there. There’s no other practical use for a trench coat.

Just now I saw a fly sitting on a fly swatter. That guy is cocky. But he’s also very smart because that is the safest possible place for a fly to be. I got nothing to hit him with.

I wish I subscribed to a newspaper.

I have an excellent system for when I go to casinos. I take my money and bet at several different tables. Then I lose my money and go home angry.

It’s a reliable system too. It’s never failed me and allowed me win any money.